The adventures of the yellow bellied sap sucker or how to detox off of cola without chewing a hole in your desk.

I am not an addict. I may buy enough 2 liter bottles of soda to allow for 2 a day. I may simply drink them out of the bottle but that is only so I don't dirty a glass. I may sit here and reach down waving my hand around for the neck of the bottle even when there is none there but I am not an addict. I am merely a cola fan.

I bet you guessed where this is leading. Smart Lad [or Lassie]. I am currently detoxing. Sitting here typing this frequently waving my hands fruitlessly next to the chair reaching for that wonderful elixir, Coke Classic. Hell, I will even settle for a Sam's Club diet. I am not desperate enough to reach for Pepsi.. yet. I have stopped.

This is not as bad as my coffee detox in 1980s. I remember the coffee detox. Half of Central Pennsylvania might remember the coffee detox. It was not pretty. And yes that was an understatement. I love good coffee. It must be good. The rich fragrant odor of it still lifts my mood, causes me to crave it while feeling warm and comforted. Alas, my stomach and my body does not agree. One drink, even the decaffeinated sends me screaming for the Prilosec 40 mg tablets and prayer which is interesting for an Epicurean. I cannot. I miss it. I have found a substitute in a product called Roma. While not my beloved rich roast coffee of delight, it serves well.

Back to the soda, having stopped this and prepared a cup of Roma. It is good. I do recommend it and my body agrees. I simply stopped. If I don’t have it in the house, I cannot drink it. It is 10 miles to the nearest soda machine. It is 25 miles to get a 2 liter bottle of soda at 1.49. It is 45 miles to get the same soda for 99 cents. I am not an addict. I would never keep track of details like this. I just happen to know these facts. How I cannot tell but I know them.

The main reason I drink soda is the taste. I like the taste of Coke Classic. I actually like the taste of Sam’s Club diet if you throw in a few drops of Angostura bitters. We are doing a lot of understating here. I love the taste of Coke Classic. I will drink water before I drink Pepsi simply because I personally do not like the taste. Some do. One is not better than the other, it is merely personal taste. Disclaimer over. Back to the article.

The taste of water is the taste of water. It isn’t bold or vibrant. It doesn’t tickle the tongue. It is mild, cooling and soothing. I am the person who dumps the extra Japeneo peppers in the sauce. Which one do you think I want?

In the quest I decided to give all those mocktail recipes I have a try. I would try the cocktails but that might be a tad more expensive and another addiction completely with the way I drink. Fish would not be a good term here. The mocktails are working. It takes my mind off of the desire for a Coke. It doesn’t remove the headache but the Mobic I must consume for arthritis pain helps the headache so it is tolerable. I am becoming an expert. I am currently an expert in Yellow Bellied Sap Suckers.

The original:
Yellow Bellied Sap Sucker

1/2 tonic water
1/2 lime juice
3 drops Angostura bitters

1. Shake the juice and the bitters.
2. Pour over ice.
3. Add the tonic.
4. Serve.

6 ounces plain water [or tonic]
1 ounce Rose's Lime concentrate
6 drops Angostura bitters

Shake the juice and the bitters
Pour over ice
add the water.
Guzzle right there.

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